Who am I?

“Who am I?” might be the one most significant question we ask ourselves. I describe it the most significant because our very existence is based on this one question. I don’t think we can ever get an absolute answer to this question; only a relative answer is all that we can hope for. The question “who am I” may be understood better by a more specific question such as “How am I related to the rest of the world?” One’s answer to this question is based on and limited by his/her world view.

When I was a child, my world consisted of my family, relatives, friends, the neighborhood, the church, and the school. As I grew older, my world grew larger and larger, and my view of the world also grew larger. I answered the question “Who am I?” as I grew up based on my growing view of the world. Let me illustrate this further in some detail.

Let me imagine that I am seven years old. I am walking along the street, and someone asks me, “Who are you?” Immediately I answer, “I am a son of Kunnathu Daniel Sir”. Kunnathu is the name of my family, and my father, a school teacher, was known as Daniel Sir in that place. As a child I saw myself as a part of my family, and my own identity was through my father and my family.

I am 12 years old, and a classmate of mine asks me, “Who are you?” I answer, “I am a Christian.” My world was growing beyond my family. I became aware of various faith-based communities, and I identified myself as a part of the faith community in which I was born and brought up.

I am 22 years old, and I am attending a conference which had participants from all over India. Someone asks me, “Who are you?” I answer, “I am a Malayalee”. I saw myself as a part of a large language-based community living in Kerala.

I am 28, and I am in Ethiopia. Someone asks me, “Who are you?” I answer, “I am an Indian”. I saw myself as a citizen of India.

I am 36, and I ask myself, “Who am I?” I answer, “I am a human being.” I saw myself as a human being beyond all races and creeds that separate human race.

I am 44, and I ask myself “Who am I?” I answer, “I am a living being”. I identified myself with all living beings.

Today I ask the same question to myself, and I answer, “I am one with all that exists”.

What precedes is an example of how someone answers the question of “who am I” based on the expanding world-view. I include within my circle whatever I identify with, and exclude the rest of the world. When I call myself an Indian, my circle includes all those who are Indians, and excludes all those who are not Indians. When I call myself a human being, my circle includes all human beings, and excludes all other beings. My circle expanded further to include all living beings, thus excluding all the nonliving beings. Today my circle includes all that exists, and there is nothing outside my circle.

How does our View of the World Expand? 

This leads to a question: how does our view expand? How does our circle get larger? I can’t speak for all people; I can only speak from my own experience. I believe the expansion of my view has been a natural growth. I think it is the nature of human mind to expand its world-view with the passage of time if it is allowed to expand. This implies that if someone’s mind does not expand its world-view with the passage of time, it means that his/her mind is not allowed to expand. Human mind does not expand its world-view unless it has the freedom to expand.

This reminds me of what Jesus taught about the human mind in the parable of the sower.
"A sower went out to sow. And as he sowed, some seed fell on the path, and birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky ground, where it had little soil. It sprang up at once because the soil was not deep, and when the sun rose it was scorched, and it withered for lack of roots. Some seed fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked it. But some seed fell on rich soil, and produced fruit, a hundred or sixty or thirty fold. Whoever has ears ought to hear." 

The seed represents a piece of knowledge that causes an expansion of a world-view. A seed hides within it the life of a tree or a plant from which it came. When it falls on the soil, it starts sprouting, giving birth to a similar tree or plant. A human civilization is like a tree, and the artistic and literary works it leaves behind are its seeds. Within those seeds will be the wisdom that served as the foundation of a civilization. Any enlightening idea or piece of information is a seed that can expand one’s world-view.

The path represents people who are denied any new knowledge or opportunity to grow or expand. Those who are in slavery are denied the rights to know and grow. Those who are in a totalitarian regime are denied the freedom to know the truth. Those who are born and brought up in faith communities that claim to have the absolute truth in its custody are denied the freedom to know the truth. All these people are like the path that is denied the right to receive seeds and be fruitful. Unfortunately, a large number of people in the world belong to this category.

But there are many other people who are allowed to receive knowledge. The seeds indeed fall in their minds. But they all do not become fruitful. Rocky ground stands for closed minds. They claim to have all knowledge, and do not welcome any new knowledge at all. They close their own minds from learning anything new and expanding their view of the world. Those who believe that they are in custody of absolute truth belong to this group. If they already know the truth, why would they listen to the others? This group is often called fundamentalists.

Fortunately, there are many people in the world with an open mind. They are willing to learn and grow. They do not claim to have the custody of absolute truth. However, not all of them become fruitful. Thorny field represents those open-minded people who do not become fruitful. Their mind shelters so many unwanted and unimportant things which do not let the seed grow and become fruitful. They care so much for comfort, wealth, and popularity that their mind will not have any space left for the seed to grow.

Rich soil represents the minds of people who live a fruitful life. They are not denied the seeds like many unfortunate people in the world. Their minds are not closed to new knowledge as they do not claim to have custody of absolute truth. Their minds are not filled with unwanted and unnecessary things, and they are focused on what is really important in life. The expansion of one’s world-view happens naturally if his/her mind is allowed to expand.

One with All that Exists 

Coming back to my present world-view, I identify myself with all that exists. Beyond a human being, and beyond a living being, I see myself as a being. It means that I include all beings within my circle. I do not claim to know what it means to be a being. I do not have an absolute answer to the question of who I am. I only know that I am one with all that exists. This may be called a functional knowledge that helps me to function in my day-to-day life and be fruitful.

The world as known to us is a process within space and time. Nothing stays without change. Whatever changeless existence upon which the changing world exists has to be beyond time and space. Let us call it The Infinite. The finite process which we call the world exists within The Infinite. Being a part of the world, the human being is also a part of the process. Seen from the view of the finite world, there is an unbridgeable gap between the world and The Infinite. However, seen from the view of The Infinite, no such gap exists.

Within the framework of this thought, I am one with The Infinite because nothing can stay outside The Infinite. Being a part of the process called world, I have the advantage and potential of change and growth. Thus every new day brings new possibilities to me. Every new moment opens a new world before my eyes, and life remains an exciting adventure from moment to moment.

When I was a three-year old child, my mother taught me a little song.

I am a child of God,
And the Kingdom of God is mine!

I didn’t understand what it meant then, but recently I realized that this little song has become the foundation of my life. It answered the question of what I am. When my mother taught me this little song she wanted my mind to expand beyond my little family, and to see the world as my family with God as my real parent. She wanted me to understand that the real source of the love that was flowing through her was God.

What is the implication of saying that I am a child of God? God is what really exists beyond the appearances that I perceive with my little mind and with my five senses. God is the absolute being beyond all the relative beings that appear to me. God is all-knowing, all-righteous (holy), all-powerful, and immortal. On the other hand I see myself as a being who knows very little, does errors, with very little power at my disposal, and a being with birth and death. Along with the world, I exist within the limits of time and space. God, however, is infinite, without any limits of time and space. When I call myself a child of God, I mean that I am one with God in my essence although God is infinite and I am finite.

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